Adiya
by inthenameofallthatisTIVA
Summary: Tony and Ziva have had their baby, just like she wanted... But is everything as fine as she planned and is Tony ready for thresposibility?


Background: Ziva informed Tony that she wanted a baby; she had for a while and asked him if he'd be a sperm donor. Tony accepted and they made a baby. Their daughter, Adiya (Meaning 'God's treasure' in Hebrew) was born 2 months premature because a truck knocked Ziva, forcing her body into pre-term labour. Adiya was eventually stabilised and Ziva made a full recovery from the emergency C-Section.

Now, 2 months later, on Adiya's originally predicted birthday, Abby is holding a party down in her lab.

Gibbs comes into the Squad Room and stops when he sees that not one member of his team is there. Then, he spies a note on his desk.

_Boss, go to the Lab. Tony_.

When Gibbs arrives at Abby's lab, he's met with a weird site; Ziva and Abby are chatting casually while McGee and Tony gush over Adiya, who is asleep in her baby carrier.

"What's going on?" He says, startling everyone.

"Oh, hi, Gibbs." Abby says, "We were just having a little thingy to celebrate the fact that it's Adiya's 'supposed to be' birthday. It's just cordial!" She holds a cup out to him.

He looks at it, then at everyone else, "Get back to work."

They all leave in silence with their heads down, then, Tony comes back in, "I forgot my daughter." Picks Adiya's carrier up and walks back out.

In the Squad Room, Tony, Ziva and McGee are working furiously while Gibbs is talking to Abby. Adiya, who is placed next to Ziva, starts to cry. After a short while, Tony looks at Ziva, "Are you gonna get her?"

"No," she says, typing a little harder. "I'm busy."

"But, you're closest."

She snaps, "I said that I'm busy, Tony! You get her!"

Slowly, he gets up, walks over and picks Adiya up, gently rocking her. Then, loosing himself a little starts whispering and even singing to her in Italian.

Once she's calm, Tony takes the carrier and puts it down near his desk in case it happens again.

"What was that, Tony?" McGee asks, a little impressed.

"Something my mum sang to be before she started screwing up."

"What do the words mean?"

Tony shrugs, "Just stuff like, 'you are my angel, I love you dearest.' Stuff like that."

McGee smiles, "It was really nice."

Tony smiles as well, "Thanks, Probie."

They both go silent as Gibbs comes in, looking furious.

"Do we have a case, boss?" Tony asks, no-where near as confident as he usually is.

"No." Gibbs snaps, sitting down.

"Then, why are we up here?"

Gibbs stops and looks at him.

"Well, sorry, boss, but we were just having a few plastic cups of cordial to celebrate a…" He slows when he realises why Gibbs is angry. "Birth."

Suddenly, McGee and Ziva stop as well.

Gibbs stares at Tony, "Anything else, DiNozzo?"

"No, boss."

Later that day, McGee and Tony are out buying lunch. They've left Ziva to look after Adiya. While standing in line, Tony says, "We should have known."

"About Gibbs?"

"Yes. Ziva and I should have thought about him before even considering have a child."

McGee looks at him as though he's a complete idiot, "He has nothing to do with your personal life. Just because he'll be pissed for a while doesn't mean that you should regret having Adiya. He'll get over it."

"But, this has brought a whole flood of memories back for him. Kelly…"

He cuts in, "Is not your problem."

He sighs, "I guess." Despite McGee's reassuring words, Tony was unconvinced.

Later that night, approximately midnight, McGee's home phone began to ring.

"What do you want?" He answered, not caring who was on the other end.

"Probie, it's me!" Tony whispers.

"What do you want?" He repeats, putting the phone on speaker and putting it on the bedside table next to him.

"McGee, it's Ziva… I…" It sounds like he's looking around and then he continues, "She's crying!"

"Are you sure?"

Tony pauses, "Yes! I'm positive! She's sitting on the bathroom floor just sobbing! McGee, what should I do! This is the third night in a row! At first I thought it was just because her hormones were getting re-balanced or something, then last night I actually walked in and asked her what was wrong, you know, trying to be a good boyfriend and she nearly bit my head off and now I don't know what to do!"

"You were probably right the first time, Tony. Look, I don't know about this sort of stuff. Ask Ducky. He'd know. Just don't call him now. Let Ziva calm down and go back to sleep and talk to Ducky tomorrow."

Tony sighs, "Thanks, Probie."

The next morning, the very first thing that Tony does is go down to Autopsy to see Ducky.

The smell of the body that Ducky is cutting into is putrid. Tony pulls his shirt up over his nose and mouth and walks as close as he dares.

The body is water logged, but the water is almost black.

"Is this the body that they pulled out of the sewer main?" Tony asks as Ducky makes the initial incision.

"Yes, Anthony. This poor fellow was under all that human waste for three days, minimum."

"That's nice. Where's Palmer?" Tony looks around.

Ducky sighs, "That boy! He's never on time and he's never awake when he gets here! Anyway, what can I help you with?"

Tony leans over the body and the smell intensifies, but he doesn't want anyone that may be lingering outside to hear, "I think Ziva might be depressed."

Ducky stops and looks at him, "Anthony, that's quite an assumption."

"But, Duck, she's been up in the middle of the night crying for the last three nights! I thought that it was just her hormones, but… My gut tells me it's something else. What else could it be?"

Ducky thinks, "Post-natal depression is most likely, but she would have had symptoms two days after Adiya was born. Unless nobody noticed, in which case it's developed a little further. How has she been handling Adiya?"

Tony shrugs, "Not much. She changes her and everything whenever I'm out, but that's about it. She doesn't want to breast-feed or even just play with her." He pauses, "Should I have noticed this a while ago?"

Ducky looks as though he wants to say 'yes.'

"What happens if it gets worse? Like, two months worse?"

Ducky thinks again, "She could believe that Adiya isn't her daughter, or she could just feel no attachment to her and think she's a bad mother or she could be suffering temporary psychosis caused by the depression and could be hurting Adiya and then feeling really bad about it later."

Tony sighs, "I'm a crappy boyfriend, and worse a crappy father!"

"That's not true, Tony!"

"Wanna bet?" Tony laughs a little sarcastically, "I didn't notice the fact that my girlfriend hasn't formed an attachment to our brand new daughter, or even thought about the possibility that she's harming her, which makes me a crappy father because I can't protect my own kid!" On the last word Tony kicks the corner of the autopsy table.

There is silence for a while, and then Ducky says, "Maybe you should talk to Ziva about it?"

He nods, "You're right. Thanks, Duck."

"And, if I were you, next time you're changing Adiya, I'd check for any abrasions or cuts anywhere on her body."

Tony nods again and, as he walks away, Ducky says, "Anthony?"

He stops, "Yeah, Duck?"

"When were you and Ziva last…? Intimate?"

Tony turns and looks at him, "Is this relevant?"

"Quite."

Tony thinks, "About two days before Adiya was born. Why?"

"Well, Ziva's body would be fully mended now."

Tony raises an eyebrow, "Are you suggesting what I think you are, Doctor Mallard?"

Ducky shrugs, "It wouldn't hurt."

Back up in the Squad Room, Tony sits down and begins working. A short while later, Adiya starts crying. McGee looks at Tony and Tony looks at Ziva saying, "Are you gonna get her, Ziva?"

Ziva briefly looks down at Adiya, who is in her baby carrier on the floor, then goes back to work. "No."

Tony looks at McGee and then back at Ziva, "You're closer."

"What I'm doing is important. Please, Tony? Just this once."

Slowly, he gets up and picks Adiya up, then holds her at arms distance away at arms length, "Jeeze! That freakin' stinks!"

He holds her up to McGee, who pushes his chair away from the desk, holding his nose, saying, "What the hell are you feeding her?"

Tony looks over at Ziva, "Powdered milk. This wouldn't be happening if she was feeding on breast milk!"

Ziva looks over at him with a death glare and then continues working.

In the men's bathroom, Tony begins changing Adiya while one man is standing at the urinal. When the man catches a whiff of Adiya's… business, he zips up and leaves, nearly vomiting.

Tony does his best to not gag while changing her and once the bad diaper is gone and she is 'fresher,' Tony walks over to the door and locks it.

"Okay, let's see under there." He lifts Adiya's shirt and is relieved to find no bruises or markings of any kind. He gently turns her over and lifts the shirt to find a small dark patch on her side, a bruise. He touches it a little, but pulls away when Adiya gives a cry of discomfort. He turns her back over and lightly kisses her forehead, nearly in tears, "I'm so sorry, baby. I… I didn't know." He pushes her sleeves back and finds some fresher bruises in the shape of fingers on Adiya's arms. "Jesus." He breathes, stepping back and looking at Adiya's beautiful little face. She's not smiling; she seems to know that something is wrong.

A half hour or so later, McGee knocks on the door, "Tony! Are you okay?"

Tony gets up, unlocks the door, lets McGee in and locks it again.

"What's taking so long? The smell can't have been that bad?"

Tony points at Adiya, "She's got bruises."

Instantly, McGee stops, "What?"

Tony walks over to Adiya and holds her up, her bare back facing McGee, "That's an old one. She's got these too." He puts her down and shows McGee her arms.

McGee puts his hand over his mouth, "Ziva…?"

Tony nods, "Yeah. Ducky thinks she's depressed and I'm starting to agree."

"You've got to talk to her about this, Tony."

"How, McGee?" Tony suddenly snaps, "Just slip it into casual conversation? I've never had to deal with this before!"

"Well, neither have I! Why are you showing me this, anyway?"

"Because I need help!"

Adiya starts crying. Tony looks over at her and tears roll down his cheeks, his tone calming, "It's like I'm raising her on my own and I can't do it. I need Ziva, but at the moment she needs me! I can't be a supportive boyfriend and at the same time a single dad!"

McGee takes a few breaths before saying, "Then, let me or Abby look after her for a few days."

"What?" Tony picks her up and almost immediately, she stops crying.

"You can be the supportive boyfriend and let Abby and me take care of the parent part until Ziva gets better, then you guys can take over again."

Tony looks unsure.

"C'mon, Tony! You need this even more that Ziva or Adiya! Don't forget, if you keep trying to juggle them both alone, you're gonna drop the ball and it'll come crashing down."

"I don't know. Leaving Abs alone with a baby? I'll get her back and she'll have tattoos and piercings everywhere."

McGee laughs, "Then, that's what I'll be there for."

Tony looks down at Adiya, "I'm doing this 'cause I love you." He kisses her once more and then hands her over to McGee.

When they get back to the Squad Room, Ziva seems totally unaware that McGee is even holding Adiya and doesn't make a single move when Tony picks up the carrier and puts it and the changing bag behind McGee's desk. He looks at McGee, both of the exchanging worried looks.

That night, at Tony's apartment, he and Ziva are sitting on the couch watching TV when Tony suddenly turns it off.

"I was watching that!" Ziva says.

"I know, but we need to talk."

She turns her whole body to face him, "What about?"

"Adiya."

At the mention of her baby, Ziva turns back to face the TV, not wanting to talk.

"Ziva," Tony tries to take hold of her hand, but she pulls it away, "I saw the marks today."

Her head snaps to face him, "What marks?"

"The ones you gave her. Ziva, you've been hurting your daughter."

A tear rolls down her cheek, "I know."

"Why?"

The tears begin to flow a little more freely, "I don't know. I… I just…"

Tony moves closer to her and puts an arm around her, "Just take a breath and tell me what's wrong."

"I don't feel anything for her! She's my own flesh and blood and I've wanted a child for so long and now… Now that I have one I feel nothing! I find myself awake in the middle of the night…" She starts choking up, "Hurting her and I… I just run into the bathroom and cry. That's not what a good mother does! I'm… I'm failing!"

He strokes her hair and whispers, "What are you failing? There's no test, Ziva. You're just finding it a little hard, that's all."


End file.
